Weekends! Well, I don’t work at CPS anymore. YAY! Let me say that again… YAY!!!!!!!! Basically it sort of feels like weekends all the time for me now. I don’t really ever have to get up on time, though I try to, to support Adam who still has to. It’s pretty awesome. But, weekends are still better than weekdays, because Adam is home, and that’s my favorite thing. We usually aren’t home on the weekends anymore, we sort of… need to get out sometimes.

Memory. Adam’s sucks. Yeah, I’m glad he went to the doctor to make sure there was nothing physically wrong, but… it still sucks even though there isn’t anything wrong. I think we’ve got a pretty good plan though. I don’t love the fact that Adam is constantly looking at his phone, but he has been doing a lot better since its constantly reminding him what I was hoping he’d do. I feel bad sometimes. Adam is always doing chores and things for me… I don’t think he ever really asks me to do stuff. I don’t “forget” things like he does because there is nothing he expects me to do. My life is so damn easy guys, my only problem is feeling guilty about how awesome things are for me. So, all in all, memory isn’t really much of an issue any more. Sometimes I freak out if he forgets something, but I think that’s more related to me being randomly sensitive sometimes. This typically occurs when I’m hungry. Anyone who’s dated or married me seems to figure that out right quick.

Heather. Wait… that’s me… this is all about me…

Adam. Adam said that he was the luckiest guy on Earth. I feel the same. I really do. I don’t really know what else to say about you best friend. Nothing but cliché’s come to mind. Ummm… you accept my flaws… you make me want to be a better person… blah blah… You got it right when you said it’s hard to write about me. I think you know how I feel. I’m right where I want to be because I found you. I still feel like it isn’t real sometimes. I always thought you were the coolest guy at the theater, too cool to even hang out with me in fact. But then… you married me. Damn. What a life.

Job. So, I have a new job now. Well, not exactly new, I’ve had it for a while now, but now it’s the only one I have. It’s boring, but I still get really into it when I’m talking about it, just like every other job I guess. I work for Adam’s dad, and that’s pretty much the sweetest thing ever. Again, the only part that doesn’t rock is that I feel guilty for being home in my jammies all the time. I try to help out at home by doing the laundry and stuff, but Adam never holds me to that… so I do a lot of napping and drinking tea. Adam works really hard. He always talks about how he doesn’t want a real job or career or anything, but now he’s the one that works two jobs and brings in all the dough. I’ll repay him sometime. I’m not sure how yet… but it’ll come.

Pets. So ummm… 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 rats and a snake. I like saying that when people ask. So really only the rats, one dog, and the snake are ours. Paisley is the best dog. She’s super aggressive, and sort of wants to bite us sometimes… but I love her so much. Bringing her home didn’t really feel like a decision. It just sort of happened, thanks to Sharon and Ann… and many others at the CPS office. She has actually gotten a little bigger than when we brought her home. I didn’t really want to accept that before, but I’ll admit it now. She’s still a forever puppy though. I really hope we stick to the plan and train her better. I don’t want her to end up unruly and unlikeable like her sister Bailey. Now Bailey, she isn’t ours… but I think we may end up adopting her. We’ll see on that one. The cats… hmmm… I don’t see them much. Again… not ours. I decided they deserved to have names though, since they haven’t for so long. So I named them Freckles and Norma. I haven’t spent enough time with them to really be able to tell you much about them. We’ll see if we end up adopting them too. Now, the rats… I really feel like we need to do something about Sara. Her tumor is so big. I was thinking that it wasn’t cruel that we aren’t putting her down because that’s not what you would do if a human had a tumor… but then Adam reminded me we shouldn’t be putting human traits on animals… that’s what Inside of a Dog has been saying too… I really like that book by the way. It’s by Alexandra Horowitz and its awesome. I haven’t finished it yet, but I hopefully will soon. I want to read more… but I do actually have to work like half a day every day so I haven’t quite been reading as much as I wanted. Maybe I’ll come with a better plan for that. I’m sort of addicted to plans if you didn’t already know that. It helps with the OCD… or is a result of the OCD… one of the two.

Team Willis. I’m a real live member of this team, and it’s the best. I don’t know where I would be without Adam’s family. They’ve been the biggest support to me. I never really felt the need to get a tattoo, but if Team Willis gets one, I’ll be down. Something tells me we’ll just keep talking about that though… and maybe never do it. I guess we’ll see.

Health. Right now, Adam is writing a workout program for me. I’m really hoping to get into better shape. I’m also trying to keep my cholesterol down. I really would like to live forever, and so I have to take care of my body and I really haven’t been doing the best job of that. I don’t think I’ve been doing the worst job, but I’m certainly not nearly as healthy as I should be. I can’t really be physically active very long without getting completely out of breath. I hate exercise for this reason. So, Adam is writing this program for me. It’s called The Zombie Apocalypse Workout. I’m kind of a weirdo depressed geek… I really like imagining what some kind of chaotic event would be like and I always think it would be fun. Adam doesn’t like to play this game with me. He’s too realistic. I tried to teach him how to play a while ago, but I don’t think he really enjoyed it. He always thinks about how things would really be and how we would probably die and everything… My imaginary versions are usually way better. They typically involve me and Adam and our close family and friends building some kind of elaborate fort and defending it and foraging for food and things. Everyone always has a job… its good times. Anyway, so Adam is incorporating that fun fantasy I like to think about into a workout program to make it seem fun. He’s also going really super slow… so that I don’t give up. He doesn’t even make me feel bad about how pathetically small he had to start. He’s the best. So today my workout consisted of walking to the end of the block maybe like half a mile total, maybe a little more, I don’t know. Then, I had to do ski jumps… which were silly, and as a grand finale: one real push up, not on my knees. He increases my workout a little every day and hopefully he’ll have me fit enough to jog in the marathons he wants to do this year. I really want to do the color run and the Disneyland fun run with him, but it’s going to take a lot more than one push up to get me there. Hopefully I can stick to it. I sort of gave up on my bodybugg. Once I get frustrated with something and erase it from my calendar… its pretty much done with. By the way, anyone want to buy a slightly chewed on by Paisley bodybugg with a small strap?

Harry Potter. So, I never really got super into this like a lot of people. I was really sad when it was over though, at first. It kind of felt like I was being forced to grow up a little. I realized how long that had been around. We were so young when it started, and now its over. Anyway, I felt that way for like a month after the last movie. I’m over it now though. Adam keeps getting into other young adult things… like the Hunger Games and stuff… I’m just not programmed to let myself want to get into that I guess.

Soda. Adam does drink too much soda. He keeps telling me that the artificial sweeteners don’t cause cancer or anything, something still tells me it would be better if he drank less though. I’m not anti-development or anything. I think its super awesome that we have zero calorie sweeteners and I really don’t think that everything that is older is better or anything like that… I just think plain water somehow has to be better for you. I drink a lot of tea instead. There’s a lot more variety with that, and its closer to being natural, though probably only in thought. I bet some of the teas I have are pretty far from natural too… and for the kicker… I usually put artificial sweetener in mine too. Not always though! Just… most of the time… like… almost every time. Whatever. Tea is awesome. Shout out to Handmade teas for keeping me in constant supply of new kinds and awesome spices and things. Do people still do shout outs? Did I officially prove how uncool I am?

The Netherlands. So, our trip was AWESOME. For realsies. Most importantly though, I think its just nice to know that I have more family out there… especially as far away as they are. Sometimes I get to feeling so detached from the world and society in general. Knowing that I have people that are technically related to me, and know my address and send me cards and things makes me feel a lot more connected. Also, they are totally rad people. I hope to someday know somebody and somehow feel connected to so many more people. Like, maybe one from every country. I would really like to go to every country just once. That’s a dream I’ll probably never realize, but I would sure love it. Anyway, Jennifer and Eddy had a baby… Isabella. She’s cute. They and the rest of the family might be coming in a couple of years. I can’t wait. Hopefully we’ll still be in this house so they’ll have lots of room, also, I really like this house, even though it isn’t ours. Maybe someday we’ll have a real place of our own. I don’t care so much about ownership… but you can’t really do certain things without owning a place. That goal is a long way off though. We’ll come back to that when some of this other stuff gets sorted out.

Disneyland. So. we have annual passes. I’m really happy that Adam gets to go more. He really doesn’t seem to be getting bored of it at all. I hope someday he can work there. Even if its not forever, I’d like to see him get to do that at least for a while. Something tells me I won’t want to stay in one place forever though. I really like travelling, even if I don’t do it much. I also like Disneyland a lot, not as much as Adam, but a lot. I was really surprised at myself the first time we went during “Christmastime”. I just started crying. It was strange. I think I do that in general sometimes though… just cry for no reason. I predicted that would happen after I left CPS. I didn’t feel anything when I worked there. Well, I felt a little, but not nearly as much as you’d think, so now it’s coming out in inappropriate ways. It’s ok though. I don’t mind a random cry every now and then. Especially if it is at Disneyland.

Politics. Umm… I don’t really talk about politics a lot. I don’t feel smart enough. I feel like I don’t really like a lot about the way things are, but I’m far from having a solution… and I enjoy spending my time thinking about other things. I don’t mind hearing Adam talk about them. I enjoy participating in those conversations a little, but I still don’t feel I have much to contribute. At the same time though… sometimes I think about running for some kind of public office… I probably won’t ever though. I don’t think really its something I’d like or would be good at. I just think about it…

So… I guess that’s it for now. I guess we do these once a year huh? I can manage that.

I’ll let Adam pick a picture for me… he has access to all of those.

My video should be this one though:

Guest post by Heather Willis (@msheatherface)

Oh boy! Time for the second annual State of the Adam! I feel like last time went really well. It was a nice little snapshot of what was going on in my life and my head. Time to do it again! Okie dokie. Let’s jump right into it.

• Heather. Best part of my life. By Far. I mean… pretty much none of the stuff below even matters in comparison. And you know what… that’s all I’m going to say about her. I am not confident enough in my writing skills to properly convey my true feelings and she deserves nothing less than my true feelings. Actually, I will say this: Heather is my best friend and she makes me smile. I love you, Heather.
• Memory. From last year’s SOTA: “Mine sucks. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, but I have terribly bad memory. Now that I have insurance, I plan on going to some kind of doctor for this.” Well… I did. Actually… I went to a neurologist! I know it may seem a bit rash, but it was really affecting my day to day life in a truly frustrating way. So yeah… I went… and… nothing is wrong with me. The neurologist gave me a bunch of tests, asked me a bunch of questions, and eventually came to the conclusion that there really isn’t anything physically wrong with me. Basically, I have a crappy memory and I have to deal with it. There’s no medicine or herbs that will help. If only life were that easy. Oh wait! I do think he said I could go to a cognitive therapist, but I’m not too keen on that. Actually, the best tool for helping me remember things nowadays is my iPhone. The “Reminders” app combined with Siri is so damn helpful.
• Jobs. Instead of talking about my current jobs, I’d like to discuss the kind of job I would like to have. Well… besides no job. I do not define myself by the job I have. People like that freak me out. I define myself by how much fun I have and how much love surrounds me. Anyway! The problem is… I have to have a job. I need money. So, why don’t I just find a job I like? Well… that’s impossible (with one magical exception). Why? Well… having a job is the same as going to school for me. There is something in my brain chemistry that just makes me hate being at work or being at school. I can be working with something I really like (the internet) or learning about something I really enjoy (science), but I will always get into a horribly depressed funk. How do I avoid this? There are two ways. One way is to have a job that requires no real thinking. My least favorite part of my current jobs is how much thought I have to put into what I do. I don’t like spending my brain power on work (I know this doesn’t make sense). What I want is a job that I cannot take home. One that anyone can do. That’s why I loved stocking shit at Walmart and selling tickets at a movie theater. Super easy and mindless. Go to work, do your job, and leave. Repeat. Working at In and Out would be awesome! I know… high aspirations, right? Yep. Okay. So, the second way is to work at Disneyland. I don’t care what it is I am doing as long as I work there. I’d even be cool with California Adventure! Or any of the Disney hotels! Man… Adam Willis, janitor at Disneyland. Music to my ears!
• Pets. So, last year I said I was getting rats. I got them. They’re awesome. But I really don’t care too much about them anymore. Why? I’ll tell you why… PAISLEY!!! We got a dog! And she’s amazing! Heather brought her home from the CPS parking lot. She was lethargic, skinny, and completely covered in ticks! It was the saddest thing ever. Over 1000 bucks later… she’s doing great! I really hate saying this, but I like her more than Matilda. I know! Blasphemy! It is true though. And! Since the ticks sucked out so much blood, she probably isn’t going to grow to full size! SHE’S GOING TO BE A PUPPY FOREVER! I know… best thing ever. Also… still have Monte. But he sucks.
• Team Willis. What can I say… I love my family. I mean… I better! I see them all the god damn time. We just went on an epic Disneyland adventure. It was legendary (definitely started watching How I Met Your Mother). Really though… don’t have a lot to say. Everything is going really well in Willisland. We’re all happy and getting along well. We go have drinks together most Friday nights and will go get the occasional dinner. So yeah. All is well.
• Health. I was at 190 last year… now… I’m at about 175. I know it’s only 15 pounds, but I’m still damn proud of myself. I started using MyFitnessPal.com (MFP) as well as the Couch-to-5K system. Both the website and the system have amazing iPhone apps that I use quite often. I use MFP to track my calories, fitness, and weight on a daily basis. I’ve really been doing a lot better with making good food choices because of it. I do c25k at least three times a week. My endurance is getting really great and I should be able to to a 5k easily in just a few weeks. In fact! There is a Family Fun Run 5k at Disneyland in September!!! Definitely doing it. Definitely.
• Arizona. Hate it.
• California. Love it. I really want to move to California. I always have, but now that I’ve gotten a small taste of what it’s like to actually live there my desire has only increased (thanks, Nicole and Donnie!!!). Also… my favorite place in the world just happens to be in California. Weird…
• Disneyland. Heather and I now have Premium Annual Passes. What does that mean? We can go to Disneyland WHENEVER THE FUCK WE WANT. And boy have we! We’ve gone a couple times already (we began our year of magic in late October) and have two more trips planned for the next month alone! Also. Let me just say that I love Disneyland more than I ever have. I could simply list off all of the great things I love about it and its amazing creator, but that wouldn’t really explain why I feel the way I do. It’s really just the feeling it evokes in me. It’s good. Like… pure good. And yes… I do realize that it’s a business and it overcharges and can, at times, be one of the more crass areas of consumerism. Doesn’t matter. Just because I understand the science behind love (it’s all just chemicals) it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it or base my life around it. No matter what happens to Disneyland, it will always be special because of the man who imagined it and what he represents.
• Politics. From last year: “I’m a far left liberal who hates Republicans. Conservative ideals and free market stuff is fine and dandy, but Republicans are ASSHOLES. The party is full of stupid, piece of shit, mean spirited, ignorant, racist, bigoted, sexist, pathetic, worthless, assholes. Democrats are weak and not actually liberal, but they are no where near as bad as their counterparts.” That’s still the case. I actually started a secret political blog so I had a place to discuss politics besides here. I think I got about 20 posts published before I got burned out. Politics really is draining for someone who prides themself on striving to be as rational as a flawed human possibly can be. As a whole, politics are vile. I mean… truly vile. All politicians are corrupt in one way or another, and all pundits are egotistical sensationalists. Of course, there are still some genuine journalists and economists out there who truly care about the advancement of the human race and can put aside their personal biases (as best as anyone can… we’re all human) to report on and discuss what really matters in a factual, intelligent manner. Those people are awesome. I hope to one day be one of those people. I’m not there yet, but I’m working at it. It is called political science for a reason. Science is never fully and completely understood. It is always evolving. Anything can be disproven if there is enough reason to disprove it. Nothing is entirely black or white. While some things (like gravity) seem to be completely indisputable, true scientists are always open to new discoveries and ways of thinking. This is the kind of mind set I wish more political scientists had. Both sides, liberal and conservative, are guilty of rigid dogmatism. It’s fine to have a strong belief in something, but closing your mind to even the slightest possibility of being wrong is unintelligent and, in some cases, dangerous for the future of our society and even our planet.
• Scooter. I bought a scooter! That’s it over to the right! His name is Rufio. Rufio. Ru. Fi. Ohhhhh. It was pretty cheap. 1500 bucks. Brand new. Why? It’s Chinese. It’s kind of a piece of crap. It breaks a lot, and the gas gauge doesn’t work. But I don’t care. I love it. It’s so damn fun to ride. It’s like a roller coaster you can control! It’s like a super fast bike you can ride on the street! Also… the gas mileage is amazing and repairs are super cheap. I’m actually learning how to fix things myself so I never have to take it in to the shop again. Still not sure if I would ever upgrade to an actual motorcycle. I took an Intro to Motorcycles class before I got the scooter, and I really didn’t like the shifting you have to do on motorcycles. Scooters are automatic. Twist the throttle. Go. It’s that easy. But seriously… it’s so fun! Fuck cars. They’re so damn boring.
• Music. I’ve been getting into a lot of new music lately. One new group that I have somehow managed to not get into up until now is Erasure. So, there’s this iPhone app called Robot Unicorn Attack. It features a ridiculously fabulous song called Always. Well… that song is by Erasure. I liked it, but I assumed it was some goofy one hit wonder song, so I never considered actually checking out the band that sings it. Time passed and one day I noticed Erasure was going to be playing in Los Angeles. I thought it would be funny to check it out and Heather agreed. Holy shit it was amazing. I listened to most of their songs for the very first time about a week before we actually went. They have so many great songs! And they’ve done a bunch of ABBA covers! Anyway. Check them out. They rock. Other new music I discovered… Gotye and Kimbra. They’re two different artists, but they sing together on one track (Somebody That I Used To Know) that is, quite possibly, the greatest song ever written (besides Gemini (Birthday Song) by Why?, of course). I have embedded the video below as it is one of my favorite things ever. The song and the video match up perfectly and Gotye and Kimbra have this electric chemistry that gives you chills.

Well. There you have it. My life as of right now. There’s a whole lot more going on, but I thought this would be a good enough summation for now.

tl;dr… I FUCKING LOVE YOU!

First up… um… yeah… over to the right… that’s a My Little Pony… and that My Little Pony… is me. And no… I am most definitely NOT a brony. Someone Tweeted a link to General Zoi’s Pony Creator and I just couldn’t resist. I know… I’m weak. Hey! You know what… whatever! I like my pony! He’s fucking awesome! Deal with it.

Moving on! Disneyland. Wow. Heather and I have been to my favorite place in the world twice in the last month! And we’re going back with Team Willis in three weeks! And then again in January with The Bartlemans! Ah! I love having an annual pass. So much. So very much. And Star Tours! Holy Cow! What an experience! I loved the original, but this new version is just beyond anything I ever expected. It’s so good, I don’t even mind that it (sometimes) involves a pod race or even a visit to Naboo! I was really skeptical about the overhaul (I’m lookin’ right at you, Mr. Lucas… idiot), but Disney Imagineering has created one of the greatest attractions ever.

And speaking of Star Wars! Watch this!

I love ATATs…

Christmas! Ah! It’s officially Christmastime and I love it. 99.9 KEZ has been playing Christmas music nonstop for a few weeks now and people are slowly but surely putting up their decorations. Stores have already detonated their Christmastime explosives and are covered from floor to ceiling in greens and reds and silvers and wreaths and toys and trees and fruitcakes and pies and ornaments and lights and so much happiness! Yippie!

What else? Oh yeah! Rufio, my scooter, is fucking broken again! Well, not broken to the point of not working, but he’s making noises he shouldn’t be making. Let’s just say he is definitely not feeling bangarang. Hopefully I’ll be able to take it in tomorrow so I can start riding it to work again. Cars are damn boring.

Also… Heather and I are watching the Twilight movies. Yeah. They’re just as bad as everyone says. Silver lining: Jacob’s abs. Yum. Yum. Yum.

Also… there’s a new podcast that you should check out: Ellipsis with Ella Morton.

Well, there’s much more I could write about, but I’m done for now.

Don’t forget…

I love you.

Anyway…

Soooo… you know that super groovy May trip to Vegas that Team Willis is gonna take? The one where we’re staying at Hooters and going to Glee Live in Concert? Yeah… well… as of a few days ago, we’re also going to LOVE!!! We just bought our four tickets, and I am still giddy with excitement! The seats we got may not look all that great, but trust me… they are. I’ve already been to LOVE four times, and I can vouch for their awesomeness. It’s a very unique theater, and I know it very well. Also… I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If you have not been to LOVE (and enjoy the music of The Beatles even the tiniest little bit)… you need to go. Like… ASAP.

Look at how happy we are! Don’t you wanna be happy???

Also… I love Baratunde Thurston. Check out what he posted on his blog in response to Donald Trump’s response to Obama releasing his birth certificate.

As I walked to work this morning, I got a text message from the @jjpolitics account on Twitter announcing that President Obama would release his long form birth certificate. I stopped in my tracks as my immediate thought became, “It’s happening again. This White House is caving in to extremism.” (I recalled how Green Jobs Czar Van Jones was dismissed, essentiall at the behest of conspiracy theorist, plagiarist and fear-monger Glenn Beck). Along with my surprise, however, I felt a deep sadness, especially once I read the coverage of the President’s remarks and most especially when I saw this disgusting video of Donald Trump.

It was during my viewing of this video that I began to cry. I thought of my ancestors, both direct and collective, who had fought and died so that I might be treated as an American. I then thought of this fetid, smug, hate-filled, wealthy white man taking credit for the release and yet still not being satisfied. It does not matter how long we’ve been in these United States. We will never be American.

So, tears in my eyes, pain in my heart and rage in my soul, I composed this video message. More than written text, it comes close to expressing my full pain at witnessing a white man who was handed everything call the President of the United States (and me) a nigger.

Damn, that’s powerful. Fuck you, Donald Trump… you racist, ignorant, worthless sack of shit.

Oh yeah… also…

Fuck the royal family and all that they stand for.

First off… tomorrow is Yelp’s Ultimate Science Fair at the Arizona Science Center! Heather, my mom, my dad, and my uncle are all going. This is the biggest Yelp event of the year, and it looks like it is going to be mind blowing.

Next up is the Girl Talk concert in a few weeks. I only recently discovered him, but I really love his mashups and have read nothing but amazing things about his live performances.

In April, Heather and I will be seeing the Grammy Award-winning Arcade Fire. FUCK YEAH! I was lucky in getting our amazing tickets as the band tweeted a special presale announcement one day early. This is why I love Twitter.

In May, the East Valley Team Willis Battalion will depart on a grand Las Vegas adventure! As we are the classiest of families, we will be staying at the luxurious Hooters Hotel and Casino.

While there, we will be seeing the cast of Glee live in concert!

A mere week after getting back from Vegas, Heather and I will be getting on a plane and going to the Netherlands! We’re going for the wedding of one of Heather’s relatives, and I could not be more excited!

And then… a week after we get back from Holland, the East Valley Team Willis Battalion will be seeing Les Misérables at Gammage. This’ll be my first time seeing it live, and I am really looking forward to it.

I’m sure there will be more fun adventures between Les Mis and December, but the next planned adventure is a Team Willis Disneyland Christmastime Spectacular!

So yeah… I guess life ain’t so bad.

Anyway! PubCon! What a fabulous conference. I finally got to see Matt Cutts live in person as well as a couple other SEO bloggers that I follow. And Bruce Clay stepped on my foot.

So I figured I’d join the crowd and list a couple key take aways from the conference and explain how I plan on using them for my clients.

1. Video. It really doesn’t matter which type of business you are or work for, video is now a must. Even simply tossing up a shitty slideshow video made with Animoto will help. Of course, putting together a cohesive multimedia strategy and rolling it out to all of the proper channels and promoting it in all of the proper ways will get you much better results. This has been obvious to many of us for a while now, but it’s worth mentioning the increasing importance of it.

2. Google Local. A few days before the conference, Google made a massive change to the results pages for local search. This change freaked out a lot of people and even caused some presenters to be completely unprepared. The chaos was quite amusing. I wasn’t too worried about it though. Just another stupid challenge. I see the change as a good thing, both for consumers and businesses. It does harm some city targeted landing page tricks, but we’ll find away around that. You can’t stop good optimization.

3. Link Building. I didn’t learn a whole lot about link building in general. I felt that this area of the conference was lacking the most. It was just the same old stuff. Jim Boykin did make a few good suggestions, but again… nothing new and exciting. Of course, as link building is something that Google is not too fond of and is always trying to fight, the best strategies are kept very hush hush to avoid the all seeing eye of Matt Cutts and his crew.

4. Site Structure. It seemed like the importance of code structure was waning a bit for the last few years, but it’s importance and relevance is again gaining in strength. WordPress makes good structure mostly automated, but with a few well developed and slightly customized plugins, it can be insanely powerful. A well structured site with few backlinks can definitely beat a poorly structured site with many backlinks in a lot of cases. Code is important.

Code is Poetry.

5. Social and Mobile. Up until recently, these two areas were thought to be separate and were treated as such. Not any more. Having a mobile friendly or separate mobile site altogether is becoming a must. Admittedly, I have not done this for my clients, but I am planning on doing this soon. As a semi typical smart phone user, I definitely get upset when I get to a webpage that is not at all smart phone friendly. WordPress has some amazing plugins for this that require little to no setup. And how do people find your mobile presence? Social! Twitter and Facebook are obviously the most popular link sharing methods, but utilizing a wide range of general and niche social media vehicles will get many more eyeballs to your site and get you more of those conversions you so desire.

Wow… didn’t enjoy writing all that at all. Kind of made myself do it. Not sure why. I really wish Walmart employees weren’t all dumb fucks because stocking shit overnight sounds more appealing than this.

Oh hey… pictures and video from PubCon! Look!

Matt Cutts from my shitty seat.

Dad entering PubCon on Day One.

David Pogue giving a good, but off-topic, keynote.

Half of Team Willis having fun at the Wynn.

The new Blekko search engine was out in force.

Serious Michael Gray is serious.

Not PubCon related… just a silly video of us right before we left for the airport.

Team Willis FTW!

So there is this dude on YouTube (who goes by the rather unfortunate username of Fagottron) that makes some amazing remixes of Disney films. He made one a while back called Upular a while back that pretty fuckin’ awesome. Well… he’s done it again. This time he has used sounds from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves and made an absolutely beautiful remix. Please do yourself a favor and give it a few listens.

Groovy, huh? Yeah. It is. You know what it reminds me of? Décollage by Les Balayeurs Du Désert. Watch and listen to this mesmerizing video:

In case you aren’t familiar with the gigantic girl puppet in the video, I would suggest you go check out my friend Liz’s blog post about her experience with the the Little Giantess. And for some more mind-blowing and awe-inspiring pictures of the Little Giantess and her Big Giant, you should head on over to The Boston Globe’s Big Picture pictorial on the event.

Hey… don’t forget. I love you.

• Weekends! Now that Heather is working at CPS, we have weekends off! This may not seem like a huge deal to most, but we have had the shittiest schedule for a while now. I’ve had my Monday-Friday 9-5 type schedule for a while now, but Heather had been working overnights at the child nursery she worked at. And she would work different days each week. Our sleep schedules were fucked. But now… we can get back to normal and do normal things at normal hours. Big relief. One thing this lets us do is actually start going on day trips again! Heck… I fell in love with Heather on a day trip. Many new and fantastical adventures await us.
• Memory. Mine sucks. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, but I have terribly bad memory. Now that I have insurance, I plan on going to some kind of doctor for this. I really don’t know if anything can be done, but it’s worth a try. I mean… I forget things within seconds. I have to write every fucking thing I want to do down on paper and even then I forget about that paper. It’s like I can’t win. It’s like I’m sabotaging myself. Hopefully I don’t have to resort to Memento style tattooing. Bah.
• Heather. Wow. What can I say? I still feel like the luckiest guy on Earth. To go from she-who-must-not-be-named to my beautiful, intelligent, child-protectin’ wife was a change for the better that is roughly equivalent to the difference between the state fair (at times fun, but mostly frightening and horrible) and Disneyland (always perfect). Night and fucking day. Jesus. So yeah… Heather is amazing. We may not be where we want to be (Arizona) in life at the moment, but we will be soon and it will be glorious… and I know we can do it. There’s never a day when I don’t feel a rush of excitement as Heather greets me after I get home from work. I feel at home with her. There’s nothing about being with her that feels unnatural or forced. I’m not very good with accurate descriptions of my feelings, but I guess you could say that being with her has made my life feel like it’s complete. Like a puzzle that finally got finished after many years. I just don’t know of anything else I really need out of life now. Sure, there are things that I want (vacations, Disneyland, toys, gadgets, gizmos, etc.), but they really don’t seem too important. When I was with… her… I was always thinking of things I could get or do that would make me happier… that would make me feel like my life was getting better or more fulfilling. I guess I thought that was okay at the time, but I was wrong. It’s kind of like I just don’t give a fuck about what the fuck I do or have as long as Heather is with me. Yep. Ha… wow. Corny as shit, huh? It’s all true though. All you need is love.
• Job. Still not diggin’ my job too much, but I’ll live. I make good money and it’s worth it to me right now. Can’t wait to move and have to find a new one, though.
• Pets. Monte sucks. I do not like owning a snake as he is boring as fuck and scares the shit out of me. Hmm… what to do? Oh… I know… RATS!!! As I’ve mentioned before… I am getting two rats: Tegan and Sara. I actually built their cage myself out of hardware cloth and linoleum. It’s amazing and beautiful and can easily be modded and added to. I still don’t have them as I’m getting them from a rat breeder and have to wait until they are 5 weeks old to get them. It’s worth the wait. They’ll be much more used to humans than Petco rats because the breeder plays with and takes great care of them.
• Team Willis. Katy just got back from France a few weeks ago and is just as awesome as ever. I’m so glad that Heather and the rest of my family get along so well. I mean… she is family now, after all. Heather motherfucking Willis. In my opinion… the BEST Willis. We’re all gonna go to Posh together in a few weeks. Fuck yeah. It’s going to be a night to rival all other nights.
• Health. I’m trying to stay focused on my weight but it’s hard. I’m not at all happy with where I am at right now. I weigh 190 at the moment. I’d like to get down to about 165. I was down at that weight when I first started dating Heather, but I got too comfortable and complacent and stopped working out. I know I can get to where I want to be, but it’s not going to be easy.
• Harry Potter. I know I’m like a hundred years late on this, but I am finally reading through all seven Harry Potter books. As of right now I am in the middle of the Half Blood Prince and loving it! Heather and I have been watching the movies as I finish the books. I will definitely be done with Deathly Hallows before the movie comes out so that should be exciting. My hair is getting pretty shaggy so maybe I’ll sharpie a scar on my forehead, buy some robes and circle glasses, and head on out to a midnight showing! Huzzah!
• Soda. I drink too much soda. Diet Mountain Dew and Coke Zero mainly. I know this is a problem, but I don’t feel like tackling it yet. I will eventually, but right now is just not the right time.
• The Netherlands. Okay. This is epic. Me and m’lady are going to The Netherlands for at least three weeks in June 2011. Yeah. I am stoked. This is our scouting trip to help us determine if we want to move there or not. I really don’t know if it’s going to entice us or not. This is very exciting as it has the potential to be a life changing event. Oh yeah… and we might (if we can come up with the money) go visit Zermatt, Switzerland!!! Why is this awesome? Oh… I don’t know… maybe because that is where the MOTHERFUCKING MATTERHORN is!
• Disneyland. Speaking of the Matterhorn… yeah… Disneyland. Not sure I’ve mentioned it before… but I’m kind of in love with the place. Just a little. That’s why it’s so sad that I haven’t been in like a million years! That’s what happens when you become responsible and try to pay off your debt while simultaneously saving up for a grand European vacation. Don’t get me wrong… I am glad we are doing these things… but I still miss the place. I feel at home in Disneyland. Oh well. I’ll go back eventually. Sometime after Holland. And hey… even if we do move to Europe I’ll still have Disneyland Paris which is, in my opinion, just as good as the original Disneyland.
• Politics. Blah. I’m a far left liberal who hates Republicans. Conservative ideals and free market stuff is fine and dandy, but Republicans are ASSHOLES. The party is full of stupid, piece of shit, mean spirited, ignorant, racist, bigoted, sexist, pathetic, worthless, assholes. Democrats are weak and not actually liberal, but they are no where near as bad as their counterparts. Anyway. Yeah. I belong in Europe. In a country where healthcare is not considered a privilege but a right and gay people can actually marry each other. American politics suck.

Well… there you go. That’s, obviously, not everything there is to know about me, but I think it’s a pretty good representation of who I am and what I am upto at the moment. Bye Bye.

I love you.

Whoa… looking through ABBA outfits made me want to play some Katamari Damacy pretty hardcore. Haven’t play that game for ages. I’m so going to get it. Well… after my tattoo… and my Vibrams.

So, I just put a bust of Beethoven in Monte’s vivarium. He’s so classy.

GIF time. The following GIFs are from a vacation to Washington that Team Willis went on a long while ago. Okay. Here’s Katy brainstorming:

Wow… even back then Katy had a little Captain in her:

Guess what. My dad is a stalker. I guess he thought it would be fun to follow around some dude at an arts and crafts festival and take pictures of him. Twelve pictures. Yeah. Weirdo:

Awesome. And finally… me getting my cards read. Yeah… that happened:

There you go. Now do you understand why Team Willis is the greatest force this world has ever known?

Anyway. I want to work with my hands. This may not be the right thing to do in the end, but it’s what I want to pursue right now… so I will. Team Willis has a rich history of not knowing what the fuck to do with their life, and I intend to keep that confusion going! Look. This is probably going to suck a bit. But I completely agree with that overused cliché: Life’s a journey, not a destination. I do not give a flying fuck where I end up as long as I had fun getting there.

Okay, okay. I know. I use ellipses the wrong way. I’m sure I use commas incorrectly as well. I’m sorry. Technically… I didn’t pass senior English. The teacher felt bad for me and let me graduate. THANK YOU MR. STATION! I am going to continue to use grammar the way I please because this is my blog and I feel that it helps me say what I want to say in the way I want to say it.

When I was a kid, I loved building couch cushion forts. Well, I loved when my dad made them. And I guess I’ve made a few recently… sooo… okay. Yes. They’re fun. You should do it. So yeah, this bloggy website thing made this awesome list and rated a bunch of couch forts. This one was my favorite:

Pretty sweet, huh? I liked the forts that were like a little building and only had an entrance big enough for the kids. Fun times.

Oh! I just thought of an awesome segue! Watch this:

So I am a bit drunk. Hey! You know what you shouldn’t do? Drive drunk. Hey! Drunk drivers are bad drivers. Don’t you wish there was someone who would punish all of those jerk drivers better than the cops? I do. And guess what. I want to be that person. Yes. If I could be a superhero… I would be the one who punishes mean and/or shitty drivers. Cutting people off in an aggressive fashion would piss me off and I would lift up your car (because I can fly and have wicked awesome strength) and set it back down in traffic in a place where you would definitely be late to wherever you were trying to get to so quickly. Or maybe I would be able to change your pimped out H2 into a Pinto with faded paint and rust spots… and an 8 track! I just wish people were more civil on the road. People are always in a rush and they get so angry and stupid. It really makes me sad. The majority of Americans are assholes. Plain and simple. They suck. I need a name for this dude. If I could draw, I would totally make a comic of this! Oh man… punishing bad drivers… such good reading material!

I am working on DJ Adam’s Muzak Pix Volume Thirty. Yes… I have made around thirty of these things. The first ones were mostly ska. From then until now, they have been pretty damn random. I don’t have any of them anymore. Maybe one or two. 30 is going to be epic. I don’t know why I am making a new one… I don’t use CDs. I ride my bike to work and I don’t own a car. I also don’t own one of those crazy portable CD players that were all the rage when I was in elementary school. I really can’t think. Alcohol and blogging are like… Adam and Arizona… or Disneyland and hate… or soda and milk. It’s hard to do. Not fun. But it is. So I think it’s okay. The only thing is that when I read this tomorrow, I might be mad at myself. Probably not. But maybe.

Look… if you read all the way down here… I owe you a terrorist fist jab or a hug or a big wet kiss or somethin. This was a long and pretty pointless, drunken post. I wasn’t drunk at first, but now I am. So there.

“Well… Here I am.”

It starts with you
on a mattress in your parents’ old room,
clipping your toenails into the room
like the room will fade
and you will move
onto other rooms
and you will go
to other places.
Then the wedding,
Then the woman passed out
in the driver’s seat
at the order board at White Castle.
We woke her up and she went
’round to the pick up window
like she knew exactly where she was.
Then I wept
with my face in your night shirt,
trying hard as hell to say
“until death separates us,”
loosening the skin on your breastbone,
I painted your nails
and you sleep
while I write all this down.

You know my build.
You know my size.
The degree to which my eyes
are astigmatic.

Speaking of awesome… I am going to redesign the theme of King Kolob. My design skillz are pretty much non existent at the moment, but I’m reading a lot of really inspiring blogs and should gain a few more design skill points in no time at all!

Okay… can i just say how awesome Team Willis is? No. I cannot. That level of awesomeness is not able to be written. I can show you a picture though. Look!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year 
With the kids jingle belling
And everyone telling you “Be of good cheer” 
It’s the most wonderful time of the year 
It’s the hap-happiest season of all
With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings 
When friends come to call 
It’s the hap- happiest season of all 

There’ll be parties for hosting 
Marshmallows for toasting 
And caroling out in the snow 
There’ll be scary ghost stories 
And tales of the glories of 
Christmases long, long ago 

It’s the most wonderful time of the year 
There’ll be much mistltoeing 
And hearts will be glowing 
When love ones are near 
It’s the most wonderful time of the year 

There’ll be parties for hosting 
Marshmallows for toasting 
And caroling out in the snow 
There’ll be scary ghost stories 
And tales of the glories of 
Christmases long, long ago 

It’s the most wonderful time of the year 
There’ll be much mistltoeing 
And hearts will be glowing 
When love ones are near 
It’s the most wonderful time 
It’s the most wonderful time 
It’s the most wonderful time 
It’s the most wonderful time of the year

I really want my ants to get here. My antworks ant farm is just sitting there… mocking me. 

Hm… I thought I had more to write about. Guess not. Maybe later it’ll come back to me. Have a nice day.