The Groovy Blog of Adam Willis

Another interview!!! This time, I interviewed a man by the name of Kyle Showers. Him and I have known each other since high school and have had a pretty rocky friendship. Fucking LiveJournal. Silly drama. Bah! No matter… all is well now! So yeah… the interview… here you go:

Would you mind giving the readers a little “Kyle Showers 101″?

In other words: who are you?
I’ve never been interviewed before, so this’ll be fun!

Hmm, I don’t think I’ve ever been asked to summarize myself before. I’m just a guy, really. Originally from Florida, I moved out here with family in 2001 and went to high school with you, graduating in ’04. I took my time getting an Associates degree from Mesa Community College, and I’ve been working at FedEx for about 6 years. I’m usually pretty focused on just making it through my day, but my long term goals involve establishing a career doing something creative. I’m not sure of the medium, but I would love to get paid for putting something new into the world.

What’s it like working at FedEx?
It can be pretty rough at times, especially during the summer and “peak season” (the Christmas season). But for the most part, it’s a solid job. There are a lot of “lifers” in the company. It’s given me a chance to see the inner workings of a global corporation and I’ve learned a lot about the service industry. And at the end of the day, despite how dirty my hands get or how sore my back is, I’m thankful that I can reliably help someone. We ship a lot of medication and time-sensitive business documents. It’s a good feeling knowing that you helped get an organ transplant to someone who is on life-support, or helped to deliver a paycheck to a struggling single parent.

I really hadn’t thought about how crucially important the delivery system is, but you’re definitely right.

When you’re not delivering awesome things around the valley, what do you enjoy doing? Hobbies? Passions?
As of late, spending way too much time on Facebook, haha! I like to keep a few things going at once. I love music and DJed for a while. My tastes are all over the spectrum. I enjoy reading, although most of it is done online or in comic book form. Drawing was my passion for a long period in my life, and I definitely still enjoy it but things come and go. I get a real buzz from staying fit and it’s become a central part of my life and identity. If I’m not doing any of those things at home, I’m usually out with my close circle of friends creating mischief and joy wherever we go. If I had to choose a passion as of right now, I’d definitely say it’s strengthening my relationships with those around me and most importantly, with myself.

I’m probably going to end up devoting an entire blog post to them, but tell us a bit about the “Man of Value” notes you’ve been posting on Facebook.
It’s funny how life will throw you problems and say “Here, you figure this out.” and you’re left with not choice but to tackle it head-on. After a series of difficult points in my life, I looked backwards and saw that I never felt like I grew up from a boy to a man. A while back I was really interested in gender relations and playing the pick-up game. I filled my head with knowledge on social dynamics and various philosophies of mating interactions. My motives weren’t saintly, lol. Out of all the authors I was reading, I kept coming upon this idea of the prototypical bad-ass, the real man, so to speak. Clint Eastwood meets Shaft meets James Bond. The idea was that if you could internalize the various qualities of this guy, you could leave behind all the pick-up lines, tricks, strategies, etc. We called it “being natural”. The ultimate goal was to be a natural. The guy who was in a good mood no matter what he went through, the guy who could have a blast with total strangers and get anything he wanted through relaxed charm and innate coolness. Steve McQueen.

So this went on for a while, I got involved with various guys all striving for the same goal. We would meet and discuss various topics related to this idea. On the outside it looked pretty skeevy and shallow, but on the inside of the group there was a real sense of camaraderie and self-improvement. I quickly realized that we weren’t chasing women so much as trying to bridge the gap between how we felt about ourselves and how we wanted to feel about ourselves. I saw a lot of positive changes come from those conversations. Lots of self-acceptance, too.

I eventually left the group due to differences of opinions and some abrasive personalities. I also got into a serious relationship and was faced with the challenges that it implied. Fast forward to a year later and I found myself single again and almost completely out of touch with my own self. After all that time trying to better myself, I had slid back into unhealthy immature behaviors and thought patterns. I was left wondering what happened and was a bit disillusioned with myself. My thoughts came back around to the phrase “A Man of Value”. I began wondering just what that meant. I kept wondering just when I would look at myself and feel like a man. I began writing a list about just what qualities a man of value had. How would he behave, what separated him from other men? I never had any intention of sharing this list or doing anything other than clarify my own thoughts. I didn’t consult anyone else’s work. I dug deep down inside and carefully tried to find some universals of manliness that have always existed regardless of culture, time, or fashion. At first only a few dim light bulbs came on but then they just started flowing almost faster than I could write them down. I realized that he lived and thought on a different level than most other men. He wasn’t concerned with jockeying for position because he instinctively felt that he wasn’t competing with anyone but himself in life. He knew the value of differences and always supported those he interacted with, etc. The list is quickly nearing the 100th item mark and I’m considering stopping it there. I feel as though anything over that would be unwieldy and repetitive. Plus, an even hundred looks like an awesome number, lol.

I originally wrote the list for my own benefit, as an ideal to reach. I’m really happy that other guys are picking up on it and I hope it brings them as much clarity and peace of mind as it has me. My plans are to expand each point for commentary and then further expand each point into practical steps and exercises to fully integrate each quality. Again, I just want to say that I’m doing this for my own sake. I’m not interested in anything other than organizing my thoughts and bettering myself first and foremost. Part of the whole process was to destroy any grandiose tendencies I have. I know that some of this Man of Value stuff can come of really preachy and I don’t presume to know how to tell anyone else how to live their life.

It’s definitely been a learning experience and every day I feel stronger in myself and more connected to those around me and the world. That nagging feeling of being adrift in the world is slowly quieting down.

What’s your take on current American society / culture?
Oh dang, man. I havpop culturee no idea. I’m not apolitical or anything, I just have my own life to deal with. I don’t like to get caught up in politics much. As far as culture goes, I’m sure it could be much better, but it seems like the lowest common denominator is setting the pace of the day, you know? Then again, I’m sure it always been like that. I find that as I get older, I’m kind of losing touch with pop culture.

That’s an awesome attitude to have. Especially with politics. I wish I could stop caring about that shit. Drains the life out of ya!

Speaking of life! You and I have both got plenty of life to live, but we’re pretty much official grown ups now. How do you feel about getting older?
I feel like growing up is a great movie that everyone but me has seen, you know? I hear about it happening to everyone around me, but I can’t seem to feel like an adult. I know I must be close because the years keep racking up. I think growing up is one of those things you have to decide to do consciously. I know someone who is younger than me and yet feels much older and wiser than me. And conversely, I know people much older than me who still act like children.

Are there any movies that you absolutely loved as a child?
I was a big Star Wars fan as a kid. I also loved anything Robin Williams was in. Hook and Mrs. Doubtfire were always being played in my house.

What were you like as a kid?
I was precocious as hell. Full of questions. I learned early on the power of the cute smile and would generally try to charm my way out of being a little shit sometimes. As I got older I got hooked on reading and started reading well above my grade level. lol I’m not trying to brag, but I remember a kid at the bus stop one day asking what “psychophysiological” meant when he saw me reading a lucid dreaming book. Yeah, I was pretty weird.

I was obsessed with ancient Egypt for a long time, and spent many weekends in the library. Oh man, I remember having all these tamagotchis and digimons and spent a lot of time and energy trying to keep those dumb things alive. I like to think that I was pretty average in terms of popularity. I had my friends, but wasn’t particularly part of the in-crowd. Although, how much of an in-crowd is there pre-high school?

I had cycles of doing really well in school, and then getting lazy and my grades plummeted. I never had too hard of a time bringing them back up, but I did have a problem with math. I’ve never really been too good at math past algebra. Not that I couldn’t learn, just that I had a really hard time understanding some concepts. And since math builds upon previous concepts, after a certain point, I was too far behind to catch up. I was pretty good at english, although I hated writing essays. Come to think of it, I can’t really recall any subjects that I genuinely loved. Guess that’s just the juvenile mind stuck in compulsory education. You’re too young to appreciate any of the knowledge you’re being force-fed. I was more interested in goofing off with friends and the rapidly advancing internet-age, than learning history about countries I’d never been to or solving word problems. But now, I really wished I’d been paying less attention to girls and friends, lol.

I grew up in the suburbs of Florida, so I spent a lot of time exploring the woods around my neighborhood. My friends and I found an abandoned tree-house once. It was awesome! We put carpeting in it and gathered up all the girly magazines we could find and made a pretty awesome hideout. In the summer, the lake behind our neighborhood would dry up, so I made many treks across the mud just to see if I could do it. My friend John and I made the journey too early one year and got sunk in all the way to our knees! Definitely miss those days of playing in nature. Once we moved to Arizona, I couldn’t find the same kinds of places. Sure there are desert trails here, but no large patches of woodlands to wander around in.

How do you feel about living in Arizona? Would you ever move back to Florida?
I don’t really like Arizona. Its usually around this time of year that I really start to hate it, but I don’t currently have any plans to leave. I did move back to FL for a few weeks a couple years ago, but some drama went down and I ended up moving back to the valley. For a long time I didn’t consider myself as being “settled” here, but I’ve sort of resigned myself to being here now. As soon as I can leave, I will.

Last Question! What… is your favorite… Pixar movie?
That’s an easy one. I love Wall-E. The story was wonderfully told and the environmental message wasn’t heavy handed.

THE END!

Well… almost. I like to have my interviewees give me a video they enjoy. This is what Kyle gave me. It’s a video that I have watched many times. Louis CK is insanely under-appreciated. Enjoy:

There you go. Another fantastic interview in the bag!