Let me start off by making sure you understand that everything I say here is 100% fact. There’s no opinions and this is based 1000% on things that I have made up on the spot.
Sarah Palin has magic powers. It’s true. She once parted the seas so she could grab fish off the floor because she didn’t want to wait for moses to come and do it again. She also single handedly fought off the last alien invasion attack on the north pole. She tries to trick people into thinking she’s just a cute face that stumbles on her words but that is not the truth!
I can count to 100 billion in 5 seconds. I just can’t do it out loud so you are going to have to trust me.
One time Adam and I were hanging out in a Google+ chat room and and every single god of every religion showed up. They were all arguing that none of the other gods existed. It was pretty boring so we left.
The animated gifs on this site have secret messages hidden in them. If you play them in order from bottom right to top left and take a screen shot every 1/16th of a second and layer those screenshots in photoshop adding transparency every time you see a white pixel it will make egyptian symbols. If you then take those egyptian symbols and order them from rows 1-3-5-7 first then 8 second and 2-4-6 third you see it spells out a secret message. Next you need to use a decoder ring to shift the letters. a=c, b=d and so on. Then you place 4 of the images vertical. Take 2 and place them in the 50% y plane horizontal. Follow that with 4 more images parallel to the first 4. Leave space for the next part and you will do the exact same thing but rotated 90 degrees. Start with 4 images horizontal, place 2 images in the 50% x plane vertical. Follow that with 4 more images parallel to the first 4 and the message should instantly become apparent.
If you need glasses and cant see, you can use a pin to poke a hole in a piece of paper and then cover your eye with that paper. If you look through the hole you will be able to see.
Adam Willis and Heather Willis have 20 toes!
The ultimate answer isn’t actually 42… It’s four tea two… People just misunderstood.
If you type 58008 in a calculator and then hold it upside down it will say BOOBS. Unless it’s a new calculator and then the 5 just looks like it’s upside down…
The definition of Totes is: To your question, my response is yes.
This is the longest blog post ever written in history!
Thanks for listening to this post and I hope you remember everything you have learned. There may be a quiz so make sure you take notes!
Guest post by Ricky Bartleman (Twitter, Google+)
No related posts.
3 Comments
Wow, this is an amazing blog post. The best part is that ALL of it is 2 billion percent real facts!
All kidding aside, some of those facts really are really real. Can you guess which ones?! Here’s a hint… Part of the gifs, toes, calculator, glasses and the quiz.
Hey, I can’t view your site properly within Opera, I actually hope you look into fixing this.
You are a damn liar!